| Oh, We're Done Talking |
[Nov. 23rd, 2008|12:00 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  done | ] |
Yea, I'm way past the point of caring on this. I don't know where I left off, and I don't really care. It has come to my attention once again that I'm not wanted in various circles, so once again I am going to pull myself out and stop bringing everyone down.
Mentally I'm listing a bunch of people I hate right now, that I don't really "hate", but in this moment I hate what they had done that cause the time line to flow this way, leading me into this dark room of dispair.
On the other hand I'm happy for a few certain people that aren't miserable right now, and I guess it good that I followed this path since I was able to bring 2 people together so I culd be left out once more and want to die. CONGRADULATIONS!
Why the sudden turn around from being ok to cutting myself all night? Well, it started when I got dumped. And then I got rejected by another guy, and then another, and then another - and then last night Eva commondeared my phone and tried to get these guys to come over and get a second chance and sure enough - all 3 of them rejected me, flat out, hands down, fo sho.
To top it all off, everyone else had someone, and I was kind of stuck watching it, and thats just too much for me. And then my car alarm started going off. That was like the final straw. I just can't do this anymore. And I don't want to. Maybe being alone and miserable knowing everyone else is enjoying themselves is what life really is.
So I busted out, went for a drive, cried my eyes out and sang Dresden Dolls at the top of my lungs, and came home and passed out at like 4am. Then woke up promptly at noon, which I actually woke up sooner and I was just laying around and didn't look at the clock till noon. I was hoping to waste the day so I wouldn't have to live it - but of course life hates me and had to make sure I suffered.
I'm going to work on a new MySpace today for this change, I deleted un-needed people from my friends list. I wrote goodbye letters and apologies to those of you that got that text Eva sent out on my phone. I'm tying up loose ends and burning bridges.
I don't think I'm going to post anymore. No one reads it, and no one cares. I'm done. |
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